First of all, I’d like to personally thank the TV scheduling powers above for being sure to leave a grand total of 24 hours between the end of MAFS and the start of Bachelor in Paradise. Any longer and I’d have had to think about perhaps engaging in media that doesn’t actually bulldoze my brain cells or faith in humanity but LOL no need.
If you missed my MAFS savings game, here’s a basic overview of how these work. It’s essentially the same format as a Bachelor in Paradise drinking game, but instead of chucking back a sip of your drink, you chuck a few cents in your savings account using your online banking app. Basically, we’re stashing cash while watching trash.
You will need:
A non-existent social life on Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays at 7.30pm for the foreseeable future
Your TV with Bachelor in Paradise blaring loud
A fondness for tepid polyamory and manufactured heartbreak
Your online banking device (phone, laptop, tablet)
A savings account
Preferably a fairly colourful mental catalogue of dating experiences to ensure you fully relate to every situation on some level
How to play:
Every time you hear or see one of the following things, transfer the nominated amount to a savings account.
If you don’t want to transfer as you go – or you’re double parking and using this as a drinking game AND a savings game (highly recommended), you might fancy this scorecard so you can add up your totals at the end.
Here we go:
Ivan dances while the editors deliberately construct a stone cold silence to maximise awkwardness – transfer $0.75
Anyone says “being here for the right reasons” – transfer $0.10
Someone says Alex Nation – transfer $0.15
Anyone is invited to “go for a chat” – transfer $0.10
Anytime Richie does something that plots him in the top corner of the hot boring scale – transfer $0.50
Anyone says “formed a connection” – transfer $0.40
Someone asks “where his/her head is at” – transfer $0.30
Anyone mentions wanting to “explore” something – transfer $0.20
Anyone mentions keeping their options open – transfer $0.25
Anyone says “100%” – transfer $0.40
Shannon says a weird semi-bogan colloquialism. Heavens to betsy or similar – transfer $0.50
Bill lies – transfer $0.60
Anyone refers to ‘Paradise’ as though it’s a suburb rather than a religious depiction of idealisation – transfer $0.40
Anyone says “I’d like to get to know you/him/her” – transfer $0.50
Someone says love triangle/square/rhombus/pentagon – transfer $0.30
Someone says love hexagon/octagon/nonagon/dodecahedron – transfer $0.70
Someone gets a date card – transfer $0.50
I’ll update the game weekly as new people come and drama-less dead wood gets swept away, so keep tuning in. Find me on Instagram to let me know how much you saved! And don’t forget to stay tuned for my next trash savings games – we’ve got Masterchef Australia, The Bachelor and The Bachelorette all in the pipeline.